Well, sometimes I want to do it because I am stressed and tired and then I feel that I need to own that. To not take it out on some innocent person who happen to push my buttons.
But sometimes I can't be bothered checking in and being mindful of what is going on within me. And then I might tell people to...well...be quiet. Or go away. When in reality it might have been better to take a deep breath.
It is like I expect myself to be some kind of Buddha.
But then again, I know I am very aware of when people act out from a place of stress, sadness or confusion. So obviously I want to be as aware of my own actions.
And yet, I can get so tired with myself for trying so hard.
Finally I have also started to learn how to stand up for myself and speak my mind. Yes, a looong time after normal people learn how to do that.
Inviting Kali into my life is also a big deal. She does not mess around. I wrote a blog post about Her about a week ago.
And a lot of anger comes through that as well. Of finally speaking out. Of saying that I don´t tolerate all the shit.
Not saying that I am very good at it yet, but at least I am trying.
Practice being mindfully angry.
Life sure is exciting.
With love and also some unprocessed anger, Elin xx